By Laurie A. Couture.
A July 2023 law change in Florida has brought national attention to the state of rights for unmarried fathers in the United States. The bill, which was known as “The Good Dad Act”, passed “unanimously” in the Florida House and Senate, according to an ABC News report. The law recognizes the natural right of an unmarried birth father to have an equal say in parenting his child and establishes legal protection for unmarried fathers—who previously could be cut out of their child’s lives—to be recognized when they acknowledge paternity. ABC News had recently reported on a heartbreaking case of a Florida dad whose daughter was relinquished for adoption without his consent, and his five-year battle to have his rights recognized and his daughter returned to him.
Even married fathers struggle with visitation rights and access to their children when a marriage breaks up, yet unmarried fathers are at an even greater disadvantage, as many of them are not aware that if they or the child’s mother do not acknowledge paternity, they could be pushed out of the lives of their children by the child’s mother. Each state has a different law and a different process of acknowledging paternity, so it is important for unwed expectant and new dads to understand the state laws and what they must preemptively do to prevent the unthinkable: Their child’s mother could suddenly withdraw visitation, equal parenting decisions, and access to the child, or even relinquish the child for adoption.
State paternity laws like Florida’s do not do enough, however. These laws do not recognize that a birth father has a natural and Constitutional right to equal parenting just by the existence of their child. State paternity laws like Florida’s still require unmarried birth fathers, including young adult and teen fathers, to somehow have knowledge of a process that isn’t taught in high school, isn’t taught via public service campaigns, and isn’t otherwise handed down to them by their doctors, therapists, clergy, or other service providers—Service providers are often not aware of paternity acknowledgement laws themselves. As a result, unwed fathers and their families are blindsided when they suddenly face the anguish of estrangement, alienation, or total cut off from the child. Fathers, paternal grandparents, and others concerned about the welfare of children should work together to strengthen state laws to set a precedent that instead of paternity needing to be legally acknowledged or proven (depending upon state), paternity that is assumed by the dad (or would be assumed if he were aware of siring a child) must be unproven, with the burden of proof on the party disputing it.
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Laurie A. Couture is the author of newly released book, Nurturing and Empowering Our Sons (2023), and Instead of Medicating and Punishing (2008).
She is an expert in child behavior, learning, and attachment and a specialist in treating developmental trauma in children and youths. Through her writing, speaking, workshops, and consulting, Laurie helps families and professionals heal behavioral, emotional, and learning challenges naturally, by restoring the child’s natural cycle of homeostasis.
Laurie is a strong voice for attachment parenting, homeschooling, alternative education, and drug-free, brain-based mental health treatment.Laurie has over two decades of clinical and professional experience with youths and families as a consultant, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and EMDR practitioner, as well as in the fields of foster and adoption social work, juvenile justice, and education.
Laurie was featured in the documentaries, The War On Kids and Class Dismissed and was a researcher for The Red Pill. She has spoken around the country, including at the 2019 American Public Health Association conference and the 2020 International Conference on Men’s Issues. Laurie received New Hampshire’s “Forty Under 40” honors in 2010.
In September 2017, Laurie tragically lost her beloved 23-year-old son to suicide. Laurie adopted Brycen from the foster care system when he was 11. He suffered severe child abuse and neglect and over a dozen foster and group home placements prior to finding his forever family.
The unfathomable loss of Brycen, and of the thousands of other boys and young men lost to suicide each year, impresses upon us the critical need for childhood trauma prevention and attention to the unique stressors and human rights obstacles faced by boys and young men in our society.